Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you are telling yourself “it is what it is?”
I have. A lot. More recently it has been reserved for the moments when I can not get the brand of toilet paper I prefer. It is a petty problem and one that I will ultimately survive.
The one situation I find myself never compromising is when it comes to my needs as an individual. I refuse to tolerate something just for the sake of a connection. I have been in quite a few relationships in the past where I found myself just taking the shit end of the stick because I thought that is what you do in relationships.
Growth Through Despair
I learned these things a little later than I wanted in life but I am glad I did because each time I encountered these lessons, I was better for it. I don’t regret the tears I cried, arguments, or uncomfortable situations one bit. There was growth in my despair.
There have been some relationships, both good and bad, that I willingly walked away from. One or two not as gracefully. This is not about ending relationships gracefully. It is about the growth that came out of these situations because I chose to be polyam which led me to this valuable lesson. That lesson, DON’T SETTLE.
Don’t settle for being unhappy.
Don’t settle for poor behavior.
Don’t settle by putting your own needs aside for someone else’s comfort.
Why don’t I settle?
Because there are 7.6 billion people in the world and the good ones are bound to cross my path. And they usually do. If you have read any of my other posts you will see the phrase “relationships last as long as they last” in just about each one.
Polyamory has truly opened my eyes to this. When I say “don’t settle” I am not referring to any particular individuals traits or abilities to do something. I mean, don’t settle for things as they are. If you need more out of a situation, seek it out. Enjoy life. Enjoy people. More importantly, enjoy the experience and don’t settle for anything less than what you want and need.
I personally refuse to hold on to anything or anyone other than my own sense of self. So these good ones come and go, I am just thankful I got to experience life with them in it for a bit.
I just opened this one up for a second read after a recent breakup and it put some things into perspective for me. The author mentions that, although communication is important, self-awareness is even more important. Lately, I haven’t been able to stop reevaluating my wants and needs so that I can actually be able to communicate them better to others.