Leaving Societal Norms Behind

Part 8 – Funniest Moments (The “Our Story” Series)

Part 8 – Funniest Moments (The “Our Story” Series)

*Part 8 of a 10 Part Series of articles showing the diversity and authenticity within the Polyamorous Community.

You know that scene in Austin Powers when Dr. Evil tells Austin “We aren’t so different, you and I.” Remember that? That pretty much sums up what I want to say about polyamory and all other relationship styles or types or whatever have you. Polyamorous people aren’t different than other people. We laugh, we cry, we get angry, sometimes jealous, but life is what we make of it, same as everybody else. Reading through all the responses to this question made me realize just how similar everyone is – across all relationship styles, humor is still humor. Whether it’s something outrageously hilarious, or incredibly mundane, laughter is a part of life. It’s one of those beautiful things that connects us all – like love.

The quotes you are about to read may be from people in all sorts of uncommon relationship dynamics, but at their core they are just as human as anybody else. A lot of these things could have just as easily been said by those in monogamous relationships. Some are unique to multiple partner scenarios, but overall the message is the same. Laughter gets us through life – through the good and the bad. It helps pick us up when we are down. It helps us connect to each other. It keeps life light and playful and wonderful. What is new love without the awkwardly funny moments? What is romance without the ability to make each other smile and laugh? Even sex – my best sex experiences have been times where I am able to talk and laugh with my partner(s) throughout the entire thing.

Whether we’re laughing by ourselves or with others, or at ourselves, laughing feels good. It brings a special spice to life that ignites flames in a way similar to, and yet different from, love. In some ways love and laughter are intertwined, and yet they can exist independently. What is the one thing that can cure both feelings of sorrow and anger? Feelings of jealousy or bitterness? Feelings of desperation or helplessness? Feelings of loneliness? Awkward tension? Impatience? Irritation? The one thing that can bridge the gap between all emotions and bring people back into the now, is laughter. Life is nothing if it is not funny. I hope you enjoy the following moments of humor alongside those who wrote them. Humor doesn’t just make us feel good, it creates friendship, it aids in healing, and it brings us all together – regardless of our ability to understand and accept. As often quoted: Laughter really is the best medicine.

We asked our respondents to describe the funniest moment they’ve had with polyamory. Here is what they had to say:

Out and About

  • When out shopping as a group. One person calling out “baby” (or other similar term) and getting 3 or 4 different people responding.
  • I was with my girlfriend as she shopped for bras and underwear. I dutifully attended her, held her selected items, provided feedback, etc. At one point another woman near us stopped, walked up to us, and commented on how I was being such a good husband; then she looked over her shoulder to her own husband, and told him he could learn a thing or two from me.
  • Seeing my wife’s partner at a party and he handed me her purse, “It’s your job now.”
  • One of my partners gave me his laptop computer. The means of transferring possessions were funny. He stood on my driving route to meet me and my other partner while we were paused at a stoplight. Something about that casual participation by all three of us strikes me as both humorous and touching.
  • When I was at the beach with my male partners and they were both all over me and goofing off and one picked up my legs and the other picked up my arms. We were all laughing so hard. Just hanging out and acting crazy and silly together.
  • When I was at the beach with my male partners and they were both all over me and goofing off and one picked up my legs and the other picked up my arms. We were all laughing so hard. Just hanging out and acting crazy and silly together.
  • Having both the men go for vasectomies a week apart. Im pretty sure we really confused the nurses as one of us would drop them off and the other pick them up. We asked the doctor for a two for one special.
  • My girlfriend and I went to a local furniture store because she needed a new couch. It was just one of the times we are often mistaken for husband and wife.

Other People's Reactions

  • Watching people’s faces when I introduce hubby… and his boyfriend. Or watching them stare when hubby kisses me and then kisses him before leaving the table at a restaurant.
  • The funniest moment I’ve had is when I saw my preacher when I was out on a date with my girlfriend. He sent my wife an email about seeing me with someone else the next day and we all 3 just laughed.
  • Seeing people’s reactions when they find out I’m dating multiple people. Everyone seems shocked or upset on my behalf, and their faces tend to reflect that in an honestly hilarious way.
  • I texted my ex a goodnight text intended for my new boyfriend. It’s funny because he was in good spirits about it and happy I was happy.
  • Probably my husbands reaction when I told him I’d like to try. I have always been monogamous and deciding I’d like to dip my toe in, made me laugh when his jaw dropped.
  • I’m not good at telling funny stories, but my partner once had a crush on this beautiful older woman. Literally everyone that worked with her was trying to get with her, and I just found it funny that my partner won over her affections where they all failed. It’s also how we came out to them as poly, he got a lot of high fives but everyone was just so stunned, because he now had two beautiful women all over him, and they were both okay with it.
  • I haven’t had funny moments worth noting with other partners, but when I first got interested in polyamory I read and did SO much research. My boyfriend thought it was amusing how invested I was right after we talked and agreed to try poly. I talked his ear off for hours about how it works and different healthy skills we should work on together.
  • Having several friends call my husband after finding him on a dating website, and asking if everything was ok. I was standing next to him for one of the phone calls. It’s funny every time.
  • When people see your partner with poly you one day and his mono gf the next . Yet they are unaware and try to TADDLE tal
  • Before my oldest son knew the full story. He came home early and trapped my partner and I in the bedroom. We were there for a while sitting waiting for him to go away.
  • I am now dating and new to the bible belt, North Carolina, you get to know someone and before you get too deep the subject comes up, sometimes the reasons theycan no longer see me is hilarious.
  • Anytime I used to say “my boyfriend did xyz” and my monogamous friends would go “which one?????”

Within the Network

  • Trying to fit 4 humans and two dogs on a queen mattress. It’s really just not enough room for all that love!!
  • Cuddling with a lover and laughing about silly things we did.
  • Being able to be in video chat with my partners and doing chores so I’m dancing and singing. Or being silly at Walmart on video chat.
  • My boyfriend said to our Google mini “Google, play songs to seduce my girlfriend by”, Google said “here’s the “my one and only love” playlist” …. he jokingly responded “Google, don’t you know we’re poly?” … now we jokingly make-up poly lyrics to songs, such as “you’re my one and only love on a Tuesday”
  • Definitely most funniest was when I was dating this one younger guy who was mostly always monogamous until he dated He pointed out that I was almost the same age as his mom lol. I said in a joking way that we can be metamours in a sense and he replied to me “No she’s not open to other religions. She’s a catholic.”lol
  • Learning that more partners I’ve had likely know metas or previous partners because of how the poly community is smaller and tight knit. My wife will show me matches on her OKCupid and I recognize some of them easily.
  • Having my girlfriend watch the kids so I can go out with hubby.
  • My meta went through a particularly bad breakup and I remember us sitting on the couch and just dragging her awful ex through the mud. We made each other laugh so hard. I’ll never forget it.
  • At one point, I was staying the night with a new lover and my partner texted me that she was sick with anxiety. That lover and I rushed back to the house to check on her, assuming that the anxiety was about us. When we got there, the lover went home and I went inside. My partner proceeded to tell me that she had just had a nightmare and did not actually want me to come home… I had just read into the text far too much. When she did know we were coming back to the house, she had hoped that lover would come in as well. My partner cried because that other lover didn’t come in with me. It was an emotional rollercoaster at the time, but we all laughed about it later when we became close friends.
  • Me and my girlfriend, who both had nursing children under one (the first time) having a milk squirting battle with our boyfriend defenselessly stuck between us in the bed. He has since learned to grab one of us and has stopped hitting himself when trying to retaliate.
  • Having dinner with my partner and his other girlfriend for the first time. Everyone was so nervous about making a good impression, we all ended up drunk.
  • Discovering that my wife and I had been messing around with the same girl before we came to terms and communicated our mutual love for her.
  • Both of us in our primary relationship having a light hearted competition to land the same girl first.
  • Nothing hilarious, or disastrous but I have texted one partner a message meant for the other on a couple of occasions.
  • There was a time when one partner came over unannounced for breakfast and my new partner had stayed the night unplanned the night before. M had a key and was a bit surprised when I rushed into the hallway in a sheet. Both have mentioned this years later.
  • Discovering each other’s fears and conquering them together, then laughing about it in a positive form rather than shame.
  • One day the three of us were hanging out andmy boyfriend said something that made my meta and I crack up. Then we paused and looked at each other because we realized we have almost the same laugh. This realization made us laugh harder and our harder laugh is also the same so we just spiraled into a full out fit of laughter. Meanwhile our boyfriend was just staring at us like, “how did I get so lucky to find these two beautiful weirdos?”

Stay tuned for PART 9 of the “Our Story” Series!

TERMS DEFINED:

Metamour (Meta) – A partner of your partner (your partner’s partner). There isn’t another positive term for the connection between two people who happen to be dating the same person, so one was created within the polyamorous (and broader non-monogamous) community. Some people have very happy, healthy, and even close relationships with their metamours, and some aren’t close at all, don’t even speak, or hate each other. It is what it is. Sometimes personalities clash since your partner may enjoy the company of people you do not like. There is no requirement that you become friends with your metamour, although a lot of people find that to be the ideal situation.

 

Poly Community/Polyamorous Community All polyamorous individuals make up what we call the “Poly/Polyamorous Community” just like all gay individuals make up the “Gay Community,” etc. It’s just a way of referring to all other people out there that are like us within the context of polyamory. It’s also a way to bring people together and create spaces for those who feel marginalized.

*For more Polyamorous terminology, we recommend reading through this list created by More Than Two: Polyamory 101

Community Projects

Our Story #2

If you’d like to be an anonymous participant for our next series of community representing articles (titled “Our Story #2”), please complete the following questionnaire:

“Our Story #2” Series Questionnaire

Your responses will help showcase our community’s diversity, promote a positive polyamorous representation, and help give advice/guidance/support and information to those newly coming into polyamory, as well as those currently living polyamorously. Our main focus for the “Our Story #2” series will be how to create and maintain healthy relationships within the constructs of polyamory, whereas our focus for the 1st “Our Story” was a more general overview of polyamory.

The new series “Our Story #2” will be published after the last piece of our 10 part “Our Story” series is complete. Stay tuned for all 10 parts of the “Our Story” series, as well as the upcoming “Our Story #2” series.

**THIS QUESTIONNAIRE IS COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS! DO NOT PROVIDE ANYONE’S NAMES OR ANY OTHER PERSONAL INFORMATION!

Our Story – was a series that covered general topics in order to both introduce the world to polyamory, as well as normalize it and showcase its diversity. (The article series will be available on our website starting January 1st…each part of the 10 part series will be published 2 weeks apart.)

Our Story #2 – is a series that is focused on how to create and maintain healthy relationships within the constructs of polyamory.

ALL submissions are anonymous, and will be combined to create a comprehensive guide to help polyamorous people maneuver the ups and downs of relationships. Everyone is different, and therefore everyone deals with their emotions in different ways. Emotions affect the way in which we communicate, act, and love. Sharing your own suggestions, for things that have benefited or helped you in some way, will greatly impact our Polyamorous community as a whole in a positive way. The best advice FOR the Polyamorous community, comes FROM the Polyamorous community!

If you’d like to participate in this questionnaire, please click HERE.

"The Art of a Polycule" Project

We are starting a new project to artistically represent the relationship dynamic diversity within our community. This project will be art based, and will showcase the way in which a variety of community members construct their relationship dynamics. In order to be an anonymous contributor to this project, you must send in an image representation (something self-drawn; by hand, or other media means) that details your polycule structure.

Rules for art submissions are displayed below:

  1. You may include as many people as you feel best represents your polycule (including partners, metamours, metamour’s partners, platonic relationships, etc.); but NO friends, family, children, pets, or the like.
  2. The polycule must start with YOU, this is a representation of YOUR structural relationship dynamics.
  3. This is anonymous! As such, no names shall be given for any of the people in your polycule.
  4. Your drawing must be designed in the following way (Each person drawn must be a shape, and each connection between them must be presented as lines.):

-You will be a black dot.

-Your partners will be red hearts.

-Your metamours will be blue triangles.

-Additional partners (of your metamours, or of their partners, depending on how far you feel your polycule extends) can be drawn as green squares.

-The lines between romantic partners will be solid pink.

-The lines between platonic partners will be dotted yellow.

-Do NOT draw lines between you and your metamours, unless you consider them to be a romantic or platonic partner.

ALL SUBMISSIONS will be re-constructed and formatted into a new design that will be extended to all pieces so that the arrangement and visual product is smooth and congruent. So don’t worry if your artistic abilities aren’t the best, it’s the information about the polycule formation that matters most, not how well you can draw it. Your original product will not be on display, only our finished product with the polycule dynamics we have collected from the community. This isn’t a contest, we are looking for contributions from everyone (no matter your level of artistic ability).

**Send submissions to our CEO:

Jauni@PolyamorousLiving.com

**Thank you to all who have chosen to contribute to our polyamorous projects!

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J

I am a gender fluid pansexual vegan Wiccan mama who is polyamorous (and forms connections through the freedom of relationship anarchy). I love writing, photography, dancing, travel, hiking, cooking, kissing, and motherhood.


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